Ariana (sp) wrote,
Ariana
sp

Shan & John

I talked to shannon for a long time last night. I talked to John too. I'm so excited b/c i get to go stay almost a whole week with john after my finals are over with. I have them all on monday and tuesday, so as soon as i'm done with work tuesday afternoon i'm headed down to see my baby. I haven't gotten to see him much at all these past two months. He had shut down at his plant and so he had to work shift work for about 2 weeks. And then he went to Iowa for thanksgivig, and i've had stuff i had to do...so what usually is 5 days b/t wheni see him was averaging like 2 weeks. and it sucked.

but! i get to stay tues night, wed night, thurs night, friday saturday sunday with him, and i might go down this friday to take a break from studying. i've just got to wonder sometimes if this is real. I'm so used to shannon...the one who never misses me, never says that he loves me unless i say it first, never gets excited to see me or cares when i'm really ecited about seeing him. john does. and although there are things i miss about shannon...there are more things i like about john that shannon doesn't have. the trick is convincing myself taht i'm worth all of this and that he really means it.

i've had alot of bad things happen to me when it comes to relationships...and i guess that that will haunt me until i stand up and say that i deserve to be happy...and i deserve love...and john can give me these things in addition to the fact that i love him whole heartedly...except for that little voice in the back of my head telling me that this isn't real and i don't deserve it.

when he was gone to iowa...i thought he was dead. he didn't call until thursday...and i just knew that since he was too good to be true anyway... and it's an even year...i was just going to loose him. i hate that attitude. i need to figure out how to change it.

xoxo
ariana
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  • 13 comments
hi, i was wondering if I could have this live journal?
your date thingy is off on your journal...its set a week ahead. take care :)

Anonymous

December 16 2002, 07:47:23 UTC 14 years ago

Anonimity = Immunity

Anonymous

April 2 2003, 13:53:52 UTC 14 years ago

I was just wondering if you have a code i could have, please and thank you

katie_bo_badie@hotmail.com
hiiiiiiiiiiiiii...
just another user..
Um, do I know you?

Anonymous

June 18 2004, 18:06:42 UTC 13 years ago

BOOF!
-hey call me nigga

love Jordan yo.
This is really random, but your info just popped up, and... I LOVE your name Ariana, I swear if I ever have a girl I've always said I was going to name her that. Also, I live in louisiana! Small world huh? I'm posting as this pens person, but that's just my community's thing, my real username is jewelsinme. Talk to you later!

Anonymous

March 8 2005, 23:40:10 UTC 12 years ago

are u into anal
I accidentally came across your journal entry when I hit the enter key before I was through typing the website for my live journal. I know exactly what you mean about relationships being hard. Right now I'm in a relationship with this guy who I think is wonderful but hasn't wanted to put any kind of commitment into the relationship, and we've been dating/talking for almost 6 months. *sigh* I told him a couple of days ago that unless he put some kind of definition to the relationship, I was going to leave. He hasn't called or talked to me since then, so *sniff* I know that I'm going to have to move on even though it's really really hard. But, anyways, I read your recent journal entry and it was an encouragement. Even though I'm not dating the right one now, maybe someday the right one will come along.
Oh how I liked it! :)
[url=http://god-n-devil-inc.livejournal.com/13959.html]Дизайн внутренних состояний[/url]
Cупер статья.Очень хорошо и подробно вы описали, спасибо.